For my girls....

i wrote this originally as a ventfest for all of the things i have been feeling this past week and month. honestly, i am in a dark, sad place currently and i need to snap out of it. but in writing it, i realized, i have very little to be sad or overwhelmed by. i am SO BLESSED to have the husband and best friend that i do in noah and as lonely and homesick as i often feel here, i am absolutely in LOVE with my family.....so i deleted all of that complaining crap. i hate complainers anyway (i generally avoid it at all costs) and decided to just write to my baby girls instead. much more therapeutic, i feel and i don't have to be annoyed with myself for complaining this way!! :)

anyway, i started this whole thing as a memory keeper for arie (and now idina) and keep it all journaled for them off the computer as well so just as a quick note to my girls. no matter how much i complain and how many times i wish this all would have happened just a little later, please know i love you both SO MUCH. i would not trade in one sleepless night, one empty bank account, one week of fevers and vomit for a trip with your papa, a night out with friends or a homework assignment completed with tears. you are both truly the most wonderful gifts i could ever have asked for. arie-we joke often that you are the best thing we never could have wanted, and truly chica you are. you are the funniest, sweetest little girl. i know this is your papa in you, but you go back and forth from SCREAMING at the top of your lungs with joy to sitting in my lap with your head on my should for almost an hour, not because you are tired or sick but because you know how to love me. someone described you at church (i don't know the person's name) as being magnetic and that was the first time anyone had ever described you in a way that TRULY fit your personality. people have called you personable, and charismatic, and friendly, and sweet but magnetic is the most accurate description of you. people are just drawn to you, whether they know you or not. i thought for sure when we passed the infant stage people would no longer stop us in the grocery store to comment on your beauty or your smile or ask for a kiss. but they still do. you were SO unexpected and unplanned, i truly feel like God gave you that personality to bless us. you were the easiest thing in my life to love. iddy-you are the happiest, kindest creature ever created. truly!! i joke often to people that you're like that because i was on zoloft for postpartum and you got it through the milk, but that is not why. you just have this calm, kind nature. you are so eager to smile and laugh. i can play games with you that i have never been able to play with a baby your age. you already "talk" to us in intonations we almost feel we can understand. you LOVE your big sister and your papa SO MUCH and you love animals. you will giggle whenever sadie or fiona or connick come near. you are a lover and a cuddler and we've only known you for 5 months. i cannot imagine what more we will learn about you in the months and years to come. you two are the most amazing blessings i could ever have asked for. thank you for all of the memories so far and for the many more yet to be made.

i love you both with all of my heart.