Decisions Decisions

So....I am wavering back and forth (have been for the past 5 weeks since it was mentioned) about getting induced or not on August 31....That is 5 days before my due date and actually later than I had either of the girls. I just can't decide what to do. This has been such a difficult pregnancy for me both physically and emotionally and the past 5 days I am running on about 1 1/2-2 1/2 hours of sleep a night between bathroom breaks, uncomfortably of a huge belly, a teething infant and a restless toddler. I am starting to wonder how I am going to make it another 7 weeks, not to mention the insane number of Rx's they have me on, not being able to eat (I haven't even gained an ounce in over 4 weeks....and that was after losing almost 8 pounds....I'm starting to get nervous he's stopped growing!! But he feels bigger??), throwing up constantly either from M/S or contractions and just a general feeling of longing to be "normal" again.

It's a hard decision to make for a number of reasons, not the least being that people have VERY strong opinions of "natural" versus "non-natural" that they are only too willing to express even without provocation and I'll be having this baby side-by-side with Noah's two sisters, both of whom I'm sure will have huge, perfect babies medication free.....

Noah REALLY wants me to get the induction. We are both in LOVE with our OB, she is absolutely amazing and was soooooooooooo incredible for Arie's birth. She supports all decisions I make and is a very cautious practitioner. She just puts me at ease like very few people have this time around. She would not do the induction unless I was effaced/dilated, there was an amnio done for his lungs/growth scan done for his size (if that was a concern) and my Bishop score was incredible. It would just be such a comfort to know she would be there and I could wear my own clothes and walk around with my water broken and not need an IV and just everything else.....Plus Kara would be able to come down and be in the room when I had him which would be so so amazing.

So....here I am asking for opinions (good or bad, for or against). I am weighing my options currently.

Thus far here is my pro's/con's list as I see it (I know others might have things to add to either side).

Pro's

1. My family would be able to plan more accordingly for the birth and not have to waste tons of money flying down so would possibly be able to stay longer
2. Kara would be able to be in the delivery room with us as Keats arrived
3. Child care would be easier to figure out
4. Dr. Walker would 100% be there to support me in my delivery
5. I would be able to have all of the comforts I want for birth, my own clothes, no IV unless needed, walking around even after my water is broken, choice of birthing positions (including squatting if wanted), I get to cut the cord, Noah or I could catch the baby if we want, etc
6. Dr. Walker knows all of the "issues" we've had leading into this pregnancy (and there have been a lot) so I wouldn't have to be describing all of my worries (not feeling Keats move, etc) to a dr I've never met
7. I have already been induced twice so I know what to expect and trust Dr. Walker enough not to fear c-section with her
8. If I go into labor earlier than the planned induction, at least my last few weeks will be less stressful
9. I can plan for my job more accordingly (in terms of when paychecks will stop, when they will start, and figuring out lesson plans to match CC guides)
10. I will be able to plan better for KTIP (yuck....when will school be done??)
11. This is Noah's PREFERENCE
12. I will be more at ease
13. I will have an actual end in sight.....seirously....I truly feel like I have been pregnant FOREVER.....I know that is selfish, but unless you have been pregnant as frequently as me, please try not to judge too harshly :/

Con's

1. It would make using a doula pretty much out of the question. I have gone back and forth on this. I LOOOOOOVE Lorna (the woman we are planning on using) but I will have only met her twice by the delivery and that makes me feel kind of exposed. Plus, I would really rather have my sisters there (Kara and Ashley) than someone I don't really know, but Noah would really REALLY like to have a doula there.....so while I am torn on this one, it is going in to con's list for me because Noah is my support and I want him to feel supported in this process.
2. Induction does increase the risk of c-section, although again, this is a torn con because I've had two inductions (and Arie's induction really shouldn't have worked considering I was not effaced at all and barely 1 cm dilated when my water broke!!) and both went fine....but still it's a risk and I'm scared to death of surgery....never had one before-really don't want to start with a major one
3. I'm afraid of the pain it causes when you have to get pitocin (although Dr. Walker said that would be her last resort, she thinks stripping my membranes will be enough to get labor going as that is what started Arie's labor)
4. As lame as it is, I don't want to have to deal with the judgements and people's opinions
5. I get nervous that I will blame myself forever if something goes wrong

okay............so even if no one responds, at least I'm starting to think it through!! We have a growth scan at 34 weeks and a BPP that day as well, so I think depending on those results, I will begin my discussion with Dr. Walker. She feels safer being there just with all of my issues, but we'll have to wait and see what my heart says in the long run......Thanks for listening to my rambling....What a way to come back after like a month of not posting!! :) Sorry about that!! Keats, at least you will know you were loved and thought about STRONGLY long before you arrived!!